You've got to stem the evil tide

Here at SuperMegaCorp we've been going through a steady bleed of employees lately. It's been more than the normal one or two a month, and they've been old timers, for the most part, and they're not being replaced.

Disturbing, to be sure, but even more disturbing has been the management response - silence. Morale is not at high point. My idea for the "row crawl" to improve morale hasn't gone far. Probably too much walking involved, and we're not the firmest crop of apples in the orchard.

So how about another way to boost morale, that also involves alcohol? We need a drink cart. The golfers in the audience will recognize this one. For the rest of you, let me explain. On a golf course, a scantily-clad young woman drives a golf cart around with coolers full of cold beer. Older men, who have been in the sun too long, gape at the young woman and buy lots of beer.

My idea is a twist on the golf cart, and kills three (count 'em) three birds with one stone.

First of all, when the afternoon blahs set in you need a nice glass of cold beer, or in the summer when you're meeting on the back patio, a vodka and orange juice would hit the spot.

Secondly, our mail is delivered to a filing cabinet at the front reception desk, which for most of us is downstairs, and that's really far away. [See the reason the row crawl failed].

Finally, we used to be proud of the way we hired lots of co-op students. We would give them a glimpse into how thrilling the fast-paced world of software development was, and they would give us four months of cheap labour. We hardly hire any co-op students these days, and what CEO-in-training wouldn't jump at the chance to push a mail/beer cart for the summer? Think of the tips! This isn't the sort of learning you're going to get in the classroom, or in the Harvard Business Review.

(Employment)
(Humour)