Friday, December 14, 2007

Blackheimer's disease?

I've noticed a strange thing happening around here. Folks with Blackberries will be walking around the office, and they'll suddenly stop. They reach for their hip, unholster the berry, and stand there, head bent, reading email. For minutes at a time, oblivious to the traffic around them.

I've been tempted to take them by the elbow, like an elderly Alzheimer's patient who's out wandering the streets, and gently lead them back to their desk. I doubt they'd even notice.

Since the criteria for "Definite Alzheimer's" is only possible to obtain via autopsy or biopsy, we'll constrain ourselves to the diagnosis of "Probable Alzheimer's," which is when "cognitive impairments also have to be progressive and be present in in two or more areas of cognition." The areas of cognition include "memory, language, perceptual skills, attention, constructive abilities, orientation, problem solving and functional abilities."

So wandering the office with your Blackberry comes under (at least) attention, orientation, and possibly functional abilities.

Worry, those of you with Blackberries. Especially if you're reading this in the middle of a hallway somewhere, being led back to your desk by a concerned colleague.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:18 pm

    I propose that it be called "Berry-Heimers".

    Another possibility would be "Kesselheimer's" (based on the first observed behaviour).