Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
There's nothing like shopping at this time of year to bring out Man's hatred for his fellow Man...
So there I am, at the checkout in the local LCBO, buying some Christmas cheer.
LCBO guy: Can I see some I.D.?
Me: [stunned silence] Uh, sure.
LCBO guy, looking at my driver's license, realizing I was born in the 1960s: Oh my God! Yeah, that'll do. What the hell was I thinking?
Me: I have no idea.
Monday, December 20, 2010
We have a fancy new coffee machine here at work. It has a touch screen to make beverage selections and it produces all kinds of grinding, whooshing and gurgling noises at it works its magic. There is even a progress bar to watch as the coffee pours into your cup.
All of this has had the effect of producing a lineup at the machine to get a shitty cup of coffee.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The seven-year-old had an announcement the other day.
"Dad!" she yelled. "I have two loose teeth! My snaggle tooth and the one where my adult tooth, which-by-the-way-has-become-freakishly-large, is coming in behind!"
You won’t often see poetry here, but this was too good to pass up.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the House
No spin could be heard, not a rant, not a grouse.
The doors had been locked, no lightbulbs were burning.
In the hopes that this might stop John Baird from returning.
The MPs were nestled as snug as could be
And having their best sleep since last week’s QP.
When out on the Hill came a noise loud and scary
Like a thunderstorm clap or a speech by Don Cherry.
Police and Saint Nicholas were deep in discussion.
Seems Peter MacKay mistook Santa for Russians.
“The CF-18s – send them up,” he decreed.
And that’s how eight tiny reindeer became three.
Saint Nick tried explaining the Christmas occasion
But to Vic Toews it sounded more like home invasion.
Fantino frisked Santa in case he was packing
Tom Flanagan eagerly called for his whacking.
All the kids were in tears, all the towns were displeased
No presents were found under Canada’s trees
When what to our wondering eyes should appear
But the PM in the sleigh he just commandeered.
He spoke not a word – but ran ads on all stations
That a phony coalition would be our damnation.
He had make-up and hair that were expensively styled
And he called out ‘Majority” just to make himself smile.
Our deficit, he warned, grows larger each day
But these toys will sure help when they’re sold on eBay
We’ll cut corporate taxes – for the rich more to make
And have a jolly old laugh down by my fake lake.
But the children turned angry and turned angry quick
So Harper gave each kid a G20 glow stick.
When that didn’t work he sprang to his sleigh
And flew off in great haste to prorogue Christmas Day.
Disclaimer: Those of you who have children will not bat at eye at this story. Those of you without children may want to look away.
I grabbed some paper towels and started scooping it up.
Me: Does vomit go in the Green Bin?
J: Well, cat litter is allowed, so vomit should be.
Me [dumping handfuls of vomit into the Green Bin]: Excellent!
I wonder if the Region will update their list...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Let’s see… run the tests one more time before checking the code in and… WTF?
Better look for that in the code, to see if I’ve broken something.
// This code shouldn't be executed right now,
// but has been run manually to test.
console.warn("*** Subsequent patient id merging 2 full patient nodes on pid=", this.PatientIdentifier);
I think the “shouldn’t be executed” part is correct, at least.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Today's meme is 15 Songs.
Here are the rules:
- Turn on your MP3 player or music player on your computer
- Go to SHUFFLE songs mode
- List the first 15 songs that come up (song title and artist) - NO editing/cheating. Even if you might skip the song when it comes up or be embarrassed for people to know that it's in your collection, you still must list it.
- Pass it on.
1) Desperado - Eagles (from Hell Freezes Over)
2) That Was Your Mother - Paul Simon (from Graceland)
3) Top Of The World - Van Halen (from Right Here Right Now)
4) See Emily Play - Pink Floyd (from Echoes: The Best Of Pink Floyd Disc 1)
5) Every Night - Joe Williams (from Verve Story 1944-1994 Disc 4)
6) Cleaning My Gun - Mark Knopfler (from Get Lucky)
7) The Confessor - Joe Walsh (from Greatest Hits)
8) South Side [featuring Gwen Stefani] - Moby (CD single)
9) I'm Not Supposed To Care - Gordon Lightfoot (from Gord's Gold Vol. 2)
10) Soul Man - The Blues Brothers (from Briefcase Full Of Blues)
11) Money for Nothing - Dire Straits (from Brothers in Arms)
12) Piano Concerto No. 1 - Ljubliana Symphony Orchestra (from Tchaikovsky’s Greatest Hits)
13) Lions - Dire Straits (from Live at the BBC)
14) I'm Gonna Crawl - Led Zeppelin (from Box Set - Disc 4 of 4)
15) The Happiest Days of Our Lives - Pink Floyd (from Echoes: The Best Of Pink Floyd Disc 1)
A little heavily weighted to Dire Straits, when I expected it to be more Floydish, but... what the heck. Still a nice way to spend the afternoon while writing integration tests.
What are your 15 songs?