Is Stephen Harper a hologram?

I may just have to vote for a write-in candidate on Monday.  Rick Mercer nails it…
On the Conservative campaign:

This is the Conservative campaign strategy in a nutshell. Make something up, repeat it enough and eventually people believe it. A separatist coalition is coming, only Stephen Harper can stop a $75 iPod tax that does not exist, and these frozen french fries in the little greasy bag are the best damn french fries a person could eat.

On the Liberal campaign:

Tragedy plus time equals comedy.

On the NDP campaign:

The NDP in the lead in Quebec? I hadn't heard anything as outrageous since 1979 when my older brother assured me that the dog up the road had kittens.

Even more oozing class

In an election campaign you can make your case by running on your track record.  You can go on about the virtues of your platform.  You can tout the accomplishments of your candidates and your leader.

Or, you can just make shit up and hope nobody notices.

Patrick Muttart, a key Harper campaign strategist, has suddenly left the Conservative campaign after reports that he tried to improperly spin a negative story about Michael Ignatieff to Sun Media.
In his Sun newspapers, Mr. Péladeau wrote that a package of information, including a photograph purportedly of Mr. Ignatieff in Kuwait in 2002, was given to Sun Media honcho Kory Teneycke, a former Harper spokesman, by Mr. Muttart.
“He claimed to be in possession of a report prepared by a ‘U.S. source’, outlining the activities and whereabouts of Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff in the weeks and months leading to the American invasion of Iraq in 2003,” Mr. Péladeau wrote.
According to Mr. Velshi, the Tory campaign "provided Sun Media with information that had been acquired during Internet research, namely a photograph described as that of Mr. Ignatieff. The campaign made clear to Sun Media that the identity in the photograph could not be verified and that our own efforts to verify the photograph had been exhausted."

Democracy is always unfair

Interesting read.

On 5 May, the UK will hold a referendum to determine which voting system the country should use in future elections, with voters asked to decide whether they want to adopt the Alternative Vote (AV) or stick with the First-Past-the-Post (FPTP) system, which is currently used. Can mathematics tell us which system is the most fair?

Are you ready?

With just a few days to go, some polls are suggesting a Conservative majority may be in play.

Are you ready for years of this?

Are you ready for more compassion?

The first response of Gerry Ritz, the agriculture minister, to the Maple Leaf Foods listeriosis outbreak, was to joke about "death by a thousand cold cuts" and express hope that Liberal politicians were among the dead.

Are you ready for more prudent fiscal mismanagement?

Tony Clement, the industry minister, was the one responsible for the bizarre and illegal spending of border security funds on gazebos, toilets, and fake lakes during the G8-G20 meetings of 2010.

Are you ready for more open bidding for contracts?

Jim Flaherty, the finance minister, is one of the most prolific contributors to the Harper Government Patronage List, the list of up to 1500 Conservative Party members given government jobs. His office broke government contracting laws to give contracts to old friends and supporters in 2007.

Are you ready for better healthcare?

Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada, spent years as the head of the National Citizens' Coalition, a group created to oppose Medicare. In that position, he opposed public healthcare and promoted Albertan separatism. When he returned to politics afterward, he added that climate change is a socialist myth.

Diane Finley, the human resources minister, is the husband of one of the Conservative insiders charged in the election money laundering scandal. She founded a private healthcare service prior to entering politics.

Are you ready for a cleaner environment?

John Baird, the House Leader, is the former environment minister. A couple of years ago, Parliament voted to renew Canada's commitments under the Kyoto Act and to make greenhouse gas reductions under the Clean Air Act. Baird announced that he was not required to obey Parliament and that the reductions would not be implemented.

Are you ready for some “I told you so”s?

Don't forget to vote

While they still let you.

"It was obvious we were being watched. It wasn't a good feeling to have," Driscoll said. "It was almost an intimidation factor. It felt like we were doing something wrong."

Dricsoll said she felt "students were being targeted" by the Conservative scrutineers and that it took her and her roommates 90 minutes to vote.

You know you've hit the fine print in the Annual Report when...

You run across this:

The fair value of the Long Term Incentive Plan tranche no. 6 and no. 6a at grant date has been calculated using a
Trinomial Lattice model for Bermudian options with discrete dividend parameters.

I think this means, "bend over, work unit".  Or else the cost of silver went way up again, we didn't see it coming, and we took it in the ass.

Conversation of the day

V: Hey Dad!  Guess what?  I did well on my music test today.  I think I Aced it… or maybe Beast it.

Me: How did you do in English?

Software development quote of the day

Software built in the real world has nothing to do with what they teach you in college. There are no courses entitled:

The Mountain Dew-Fueled Development Cycle
The Myth and Madness of Zero Bugs
Done is a State of Mind.

Shot of the year?

Too late

I spoke too soon.

Elections Canada is ordering its returning officers not to set up any more ad hoc polling stations on university campuses.

You no longer have the right.

I've got some bad news for you, sunshine

You know they're running scared when they start trying to snatch ballot boxes away from voters.

Vote now, while you still have the right.

Survey fail

Stephen Harper, tough on terrorists

His candidate in Scarborough-Southwest, not so much...

The candidate, who changed his first name to Gavan after he was nominated last month, was known as Ragavan Paranchothy when he hosted a sombre TV special to mark Heroes Day, an annual commemoration of dead Tiger fighters. He referred to the militants as “strong and faithful people who stood guard for the Tamils, fought for freedom and peace.”

Remember, the King gets to make the rules.

Wanted: Conservative supporters

The catch?  You have to wear an ethnic costume.

“We, at the Etobicoke Centre riding, are trying to create a photo op about all the multicultural groups that support Ted Opitz our local Conservative candidate and the Prime Minister...   We are seeking representation from the Arab community. Do you have any cultural groups that would like to participate by having someone at the event in an ethnic costume?”

Remember, Stephen Harper is here for "you people."

Election quote of the day - Special Debate Double-Double!

First line of the night for Gilles Duceppe:

"I would like to congratulate Mr. Harper for answering a question from a citizen for the first time during this campaign."

Harper looked like he was trying to stifle an aneurysm at that one.

Jack Layton gave us:

"I don't know why we need so many prisons when the crooks seem so happy in the Senate."

And an honourable mention, from Gilles Duceppe:

"They're saying they're tough on crime but Mr. Harper is very soft on crime in his own office."

Curling season wrap up

The season ended for us this week.  My men's league team won our draw, which was a nice way to end a very successful year.

My daughter's team won both games on Saturday and ended up the big winners in the KW Granite's Monkey Spiel.

Camping season start soon!

Tough on crime?

The auditor general was not immediately addressing reports on Monday that documents leaked from her office said the Conservative government misinformed Parliament and used potentially illegal processes to gain approval for a $50-million G8 infrastructure fund to support projects in a Conservative riding.

I assume Mr. Law and Order will be calling in the RCMP shortly.

Election quote of the day

Stephen Woodworth, who has been an active Twitter user with nearly 850 followers on the social media service, quoted a joke on his @WoodworthCPC Twitter account at 8:36 p.m. on Saturday.

"Cop says to falling down man outside tavern 'You're drunk' Man replies 'Thank goodness' Cop asks 'Why?' Drunk: 'I thought I was crippled!'"

Ladies and gentlemen of Kitchener-Centre, your "Honourable" Member of Parliament.

The sad thing is, these clowns don't understand what all the fuss is about.

Don't you deserve better?

Girls rule, boys drool

The U.K. website Bounty reports that it studied 2,116 families with different combos of kids -- both boys and girls -- and two girls makes "for the most harmonious family life as they are unlikely to fight, will play nicely and are generally a pleasure to be around."

The best to worst combinations of kids:
1. Two girls
2. One boy and one girl
3. Two boys
4. Three girls
5. Three boys
6. Four boys
7. Two girls and one boy
8. Two boys and one girl
9. Three boys and one girl
10. Three girls and one boy
11. Two boys and two girls
12. Four girls

Let me just say, as the father of two girls, I am happy to be in the best situation and I have nothing but sympathy for those parents who are lower on the list than I am.

I am a little puzzled by the "unlikely to fight" and "will play nicely" bit though.  When does that start?

Icy wind of night be gone

What do you do when it's suddenly 20 degrees outside, the rain has stopped, the sun is shining, and your frisbee ended up in a tree?

Why, you grab a freshly unearthed snow shovel and climb aboard your big sister, of course.

Election quote of the day

When you hear Stephen Harper saying he wishes there wasn’t an election, that’s like a dog saying he has grown tired of licking himself. It’s not true, not now, not ever.

Rick Mercer

In the lazy water meadow I lay me down

What happens when you're too lazy to name something?

var lazy = function(ext,url,str,e) 

{

    // snip

};

What happens if you're even lazier than that?

var lazy2 = function(ext,url,str,e) 

{

    // snip

};

More oozing class

From today’s Kitchener Waterloo Record.

Bob Rosehart, the Liberal candidate in Kitchener-Conestoga, was shocked to find that when people type his name into their computers looking for campaign information, they get automatically redirected to a site that makes sharp, personal criticisms of Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff.
Type in bobrosehart.com or bobrosehart.ca and instead you get michaelignatieff.me which features the Liberal leader on the cover of what looks like a tabloid-style gossip magazine

.

Who would stoop to such a low tactic?

WHOIS information for BOBROSEHART.com :
[Querying whois.verisign-grs.com]
[Redirected to whois.godaddy.com]
[Querying whois.godaddy.com]
[whois.godaddy.com]

Registrant:
   Jeff Chatterton

   Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
   Domain Name: BOBROSEHART.COM
  

Jeff Chatterton can be found working for Harold Albrecht.  Harold pretends to be a fine, upstanding, moral MP.  Clearly, he is not.

And as the fear grows…

Good thing the Science Minister doesn’t believe in science.  This would Freak. Him. Out.

Liberals have more gray matter in a part of the brain associated with understanding complexity, while the conservative brain is bigger in the section related to processing fear, said the study on Thursday in Current Biology.

 

Stephen Harper, tough on EVERYONE

Trying to smuggle someone into a Conservative rally?  Prepare to pay the price!

Election quote of the day

The election quote of the day today comes from Gilles Duceppe's twitter feed:

"Harper should have invited Carson to a #CPC rally - then he would have been screened."

Hands up if you believe that a party who screens rally attendees had no idea that a senior advisor was convicted of fraud FIVE TIMES.  Anyone?

This explains a lot

People who are more conservative, socially and economically, are at the point where they're not going to believe in any of that environmental stuff.

Green is the Colour

We have a cork board here at SuperMegaCorp, where the fish tank used to sit until it caught fire one weekend.  The cork board has become ground zero in a war between a group of climate change deniers and their foes.  It is a wasteland of journal articles and pages from the Science section in the Toronto Sun.

All of this reminds me of a University roommate I had once.  Whenever he was confronted by a crowd of hemp clothing-wearing, Birkenstock-sporting, clove cigarette-smoking hippies, he would loudly exclaim, "Fuck the Indians!  Fuck the forests!  Feed me today!"

Come to think of it, that's not a bad Conservative campaign slogan...

Curling season wraps up

The competitive curling season is wrapping up quickly.  The Club men's league championship game goes this Tuesday, and the OCA Silver Tankard Regional was held yesterday in Ayr.

At the Silver Tankard, we were in a close game the whole way.  Our sheet was down two playing the 10th end, and our other team on the next sheet was up two.  We played an aggressive end and managed to steal two.  The skip of our other team had to draw full eight foot for the win, against two.  The sweepers jumped it out of his hand, and swept for about a third of the sheet before backing off.  Too late, unfortunately, as the rock came to rest at the back of the eight foot.  We measured, but it was a steal of two.

In the eleventh end, we stole one on our sheet.  Our other skip was in trouble, and had a 15 foot angle runback for the win.  He missed the rock in the house by about a quarter inch.

In the twelfth end we had a rock in the four foot and one in the eight foot.  We chose to guard the four foot, leaving a very tricky in-off the other rock.  Sadly for us, it was made perfectly, and we couldn't steal for the third end in a row.
 

Hypocrisy? Us?

Remember, it's not what you know, it's who you know.

The Harper government is set to appoint the niece of a former Conservative premier to the board of Rights and Democracy — an arms-length agency struggling to restore an image battered by accusations of patronage and partisanship.

Summer

Summer is coming.  One of my favourite things to write code to.

Celebrate with a rocking version.

Another honourable Member of Parliament

These guys just ooze class, don’t they?

Cheryl Gallant, who represents a riding in the Renfrew, Ont., area, posted a message on Twitter today saying she was sorry for an earlier remark.

She says the words she directed at Ignatieff have no place in a debate over ideas and values.

The message Gallant is apologizing for is no longer on her Twitter feed.

But a screen shot captured last week shows Gallant called Ignatieff “Igaffi” — an apparent reference to Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi.