Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Spam subject line of the day

"You're looking a little Honey Boo Boo in the belly lately"


The almost-twelve-year-old is dressed as a ladybug today. She's probably the only kid older than Grade One in that sort of costume.

The just-turned-nine-year-old is a nerd, complete with propeller hat and taped up glasses. I think she raided my closet for some of her costume, but it's still nice to see that nerds are valued by someone.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Today in the field of teledildonics...

App Turns Smartphone Into a Sex Toy for Couples

Friday, October 26, 2012

Conversation of the day

J: How did the math test go?

F: Aced it, or maybe beast it.

J: Let's hope you didn't deast it.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Don't you just hate...

Don't you just hate people who remind you of silly things like, "It's only TWO months to Christmas!"

By the way, today appears to be the last day to drive around with your sunroof open until Spring...

Monday, October 22, 2012

Money, it's a hit

Our Bantam girls played three games in Orangeville on Saturday.  We won our first, in a close game, then lost the second.  In the third game, we played a team that had beaten us a few weeks ago.  The girls played a great game and won, ending up in second place for the bonspiel.

When they went up to accept their second place prize, they looked puzzled at the envelope the bonspiel organizer handed them.  The look on their faces when they opened the envelope and realized it had a handful of twenty dollar bills in it was just priceless.  One of the parents suggested banking the money for future events, or gas money. Never have four twenty dollar bills disappeared into pockets so fast.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Season opener

Last night was the first game of the curling season. Seems strange, as V has been on the ice for six weeks now.  But, I digress...

In the sixth end, our Lead throws a hit, trying to just shave past a guard.  Lead yells for sweeping.  Skip says no.  Lead yells louder for sweeping.  Skip says no. Lead yells again. Skip says no - Wait! - YES! And we tick the guard ever so gently.  Lead throws his hands up in the air.

Next shot, the Second tries the same hit.  Skip yells for sweeping.  I bend over to sweep and the Lead mutters, "Fuck him" and chooses to watch me sweep.  I bust a gut laughing, and we peel the guard.

This is a photo I did not take...

Of a group of academic overachievers, clearly, sitting on couches on the front lawn with two large signs reading, "You Honk, We Drink!"

Nobody appeared to be honking, but that doesn't seem to have stopped them from drinking.

Monday, October 01, 2012

Curling open house

The Elmira and District Curling Club is hosting an Open House evening this Thursday October 4th, from 6:30-8:30. Drop in to see how much fun curling can be. You can even try it out with expert instruction from one of our ruggedly handsome certified instructors.

Also, a six week "Curling 101" instructional program will be offered starting October 25, for only $60. If you join a league after that, we'll take the $60 off your membership fee.