Monday, December 24, 2012

They don't put the A-team on Christmas Eve

CBC news announcer:
"The suspect died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.  It looks like he killed himself."

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet

The nice folks at the Research & Technology Park are building a skating rink in the empty field beside our parking lot.

Good thing climate change is a myth, or that skating rink wouldn't look nearly as good as it does today.

My only gripe with it is that it's not quite the regulation size of a curling sheet.  Oh, and it's not exactly finished.

Day wasted

[Once the server comes back online] Good luck getting any work done today.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The perfect martini

It's time for some Christmas cheer.  I give you, the perfect martini (even though they've spelled "whisky" incorrectly...)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Unfortunately named server of the day

Me: What are you working on today?

Joe: I'm working on the ass pack machine.

Me: Huhh... what?

Paul: It's pronounced "Azz Pack".

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Health and Safety

Maybe the Health and Safety committee should be spreading useful stuff like this, instead of patrolling for rogue extension cords and couch locations.

This will give me something to do today

I love the smell of a crash dump in the morning...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tweet of the day

Currently, Canadians suing for guarantee of fair elections and democracy; unsurprisingly, Harper Government savagely opposed.

Math problem of the day

I'm pretty weak at math. My daughter asks her sister for help with Grade Four math homework instead of relying on me.

But even so, something struck me as odd about the story on CBC this morning. The story was about the number of Canadians living to the age of 100.

The graphic at the bottom of the screen read "out of 100 Canadian centenarians, 27.2% are male."

If there were 500 Canadians,  I wonder what percentage would be male...

Monday, December 10, 2012

"I feel your pain" comment of the day

} catch (Exception e) {
      // I know this is miserable...
      LogLog.error("Could not parse "+ action.toString() + ".", e);

Important Public Service Announcement

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for an important PSA.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?  Do you suffer from shyness?  Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.


* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Tweet of the day

I actually R'd O the F LMAO...

Pool Commissioner (@xlpurplesweater): When you see a dude north of Toronto sporting the worst stache ever don't refer to Movember. It's like asking a fat chick when she is due.

This is not good news

Maybe I won't be able to get an Advil sponsorship for my curling team after all.

Ibuprofen use by athletes may cause harm.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Photo of the day

Let's see what's in the curling coach's trunk today...

Two brooms.  A snow brush.  A coaching bag with sliders, extra shoe laces, tape, etc.  And three empty cases of beer.

Yup, we're ready for the bonspiel on Saturday.